sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
