the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
