dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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