Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
