Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
