You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
