your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
