Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
