she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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