Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
