if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
