Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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