I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You need a sexual gate keeper
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
