Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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