I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Sober January is a disaster.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
