She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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