Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she smelled like a LAN party
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
