my sisters under your porch take her home
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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