Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
