he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
