there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
