Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
