I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
