I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Where is the hickey?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
