See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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