Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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