I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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