Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
