haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
