Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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