Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
