in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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