There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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