im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Randomize
