i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
