I'm gonna have a badass scar
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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