haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
