I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
