My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Do vagina's smell?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Green mimosas i think yes
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
