found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
