You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
