I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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