is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
