I think im going to throw up on grandma
and you said cock pushups were impossible
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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