batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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