every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
