Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
