It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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