You're my little dorito
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
