I'm lost and stupid without you.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
